Effective Listening

July 3:Listening

Reading the Effective Listening Survey was kind of like getting punched in the stomach.  I saw myself in almost every category, and not just with my interactions with colleagues, but with my friends and family as well. 

It was a humbling experience, especially because I always thought I was pretty good at listening. I have a colleague who is always anticipating what your question is going to be or where you're going with a sentence. She always says that she knew that already or she'd heard of it before. it's exhausting and it makes communication difficult. I always thought I was better than that.

But if I'm honest,  I have to acknowledge that I too often do the same. How many times have I been only half-listening to my co-workers? Looking back, it seems I was always covering books or filing cards or organizing papers while only listening with half an ear. How many times was I planning what I was going to say without really taking the time to hear what the issue actually was?

To effectively mentor someone, I simply have to be a good listener. I can't let my own distractions,  biases, or need to impress get in the way of actually taking the time to listen to what he or she is saying.  Why is that so hard?

Partly, I think time pressures sneak up on me. Even though I have the best intentions when I talk to my colleagues, in the back of my mind I am planning for the next class, the next meeting, the next deadline. I need the self-discipline to set that aside and do the real work of listening because, of course, that's the most important thing I can do.

I hope I can take the lessons from this survey to heart.